Things Are Looking Up (Though They Were Never Down)

It never fails. Like the rising of the sun and the force of gravity, it's about the most reliable thing in the world. A curious occurrence that strangely seems to follow financial reports. So precise and stable some people use it to tell time. To them, it is the basis of daily life. To us, however, it's repugnant.

For the sake of clarity, let's call it The Slamming of Apple.

Following a worse-than-expected Q4 financial report (which was hardly as bad as it appeared, factors considered), the ever-impartial and objective media swarmed everyone's favorite computer company like a cloud of mindless locusts. Mind you, I'm not surprised — after all, if they want to keep their jobs, they have to write at least one piece of anti-Apple garbage a year. It's one of the unwritten rules of journalism, isn't it?

It's enough to drive someone stark-raving mad. Interestingly enough, I can say that from personal experience. In the days and weeks following the Q4 report, I saw approximately one objective Apple article outside of a Mac publication. However, I saw approximately nothing that so much as mentioned anything Mac users have to look forward to (well, aside from the death of our computer platform and the fall of our society). As such, allow me to mention just a few.

Rhapsody — Ignore it, shun it, shut it out. Most journalists do one or all of the three, and will therefore be the ones in the dark when the world's most advanced operating system hits the scene in late January, 1998. Rhapsody is an extremely powerful and stable operating system based on NeXTStep and UNIX, which Rhapsody users will never have to see unless they want to. Rhapsody, which may eventually be called Unity, will have the most robust memory protection, multiprocessing, multitasking, and development systems ever developed, and will storm all computer markets with its cross-platform capabilities and deployment. There are several online sources of information, two of the best of which are:

The Rhapsody FAQ — http://devworld.apple.com/rhaptechfaq.html
Mac OS Rumors — http://www.macosrumors.com/

MacOS 8.1 — The next update to the MacOS, which is so big that the Apple folks gave it a tenth-digit revision, will bring some much-awaited additions to the MacOS. These include a faster system, which will result in a noticeable speed gain system-wide, and the HFS Plus file system, which is the first major filing system update in MacOS history. Additional features promised for release with MacOS 8.1 are Quicktime 3.0 and OpenTransport 1.3 and the much awaited CHRP support Apple has long promised. Some more information can always be found at:

Mac OS Rumors — http://www.macosrumors.com/macosinfo.shtml

Power Macintosh G3 — If Apple is pushing hard on the software front, then they're pushing just as hard on the hardware front. The two Power Macintosh G3 lines, the "low end" Gossamer 7x00 models and the high end "PowerExpress" models are poised to blast onto the scene in late '97 and early '98. Powered by the next-generation PowerPC chips, these computer are pushing the price/performance envelope farther than any other computer ever. The 7x00 models, which are so well equipped that even reserved people like myself come dangerously close to drooling, are in the staggeringly low $2000 price range, while the high end "Power Macintosh G3 Extreme" (wicked name, no? ;-) ) machines will be among the most powerful computers ever. New information is always being released at the popular Mac news sites, which include:

MacCentral — http://www.maccentral.com/
Macintouch — http://www.macintouch.com/
Mac OS Rumors — http://www.macosrumors.com/
Webintosh — http://www.webintosh.com/
ThessaSOURCE — http://www.thessasource.com/

San Francisco Macworld Expo — The January Macworld Expo, like its summer counterpart, is always full of new developments and fascinating new products. One of the most exciting times of the year for Mac users, the Expo will likely be the site of the first public demos of Rhapsody and the Power Macintosh G3 Extreme line.

A Profitable '98 Year — Assuming that Apple doesn't buy out any more companies, a hot product line and Apple's "Think Different" campaign have some industry analysts speculating that 1998 will be the year in which Apple returns to sustained profitability. This is especially spectacular news since that means the Apple doomsayers out there will finally have to shut up!

Some Cool-Looking Games — Several games are in the works for the Macintosh that, in combination with Rhapsody and MacOS 8.1, are promising to make for some slick new software in the next little while. This evangelist's personal upcoming favorites include Bungie's Myth: The Fallen Lords and Blizzard's Starcraft, while another hilarious game to check out is Carmageddon, which has been simultaneously released on Mac and PC (for once) and will be reviewed in next month's Apple Wizards.

Blizzard Entertainmet — http://www.blizzard.com/
Starcraft Universe - http://games.nextlevel.net/mpg/starcraft/index.shtml

Bungie's Official Myth — http://www.bungie.com/myth/
Myth Files — http://www.henninger.com/cjames/myth/
The Myth Grimoire — http://www.northpark.edu/~jgriese/myth/
Joshstar's Myth — http://www.pnn.com/~joshstar/myth/
Myth Unlimited — http://www2.junction.net/~tgreen/myth/

SCI's Carmageddon — http://www.sci.co.uk/carmageddon/index_mac.html

All in all, the coming days are looking better and better for Mac users. Despite what the media would have us believe, it is not yet time to jump ship; only after the ship has settled on the bottom will I swim up looking for an alternative. Stand by your Mac, and reap the rewards.

PC Prank of the Month

While I didn't get as many as I'd hoped, I received several great pranks from readers over the last month, several of which were definitely worth mentioning. However, my personal favorite (for simplicity and effect) came from Sam Choukri, whose prank I tested to great effect at my school's computer lab. Sam's procedure goes as follows:

I captured a screen shot of my Mac desktop (with no windows visible) and saved the resulting file as a BMP file using Graphic Converter. Then I copied the file to my boss's PC and put it in the same directory containing all the other Windows BMP files (I forget what the specific name of the directory was). Anyway, I opened up the control panel that allows one to select a BMP file to use as the wallpaper, and selected the one of my Mac's desktop. Doing so made the PC look very much like a Mac...complete with Apple menu, trash can and everything. I about fell out of my chair laughing when my boss asked how I got the MacOS to run on his PC!

I trust you get the idea... my reaction was more or less the same when my fellow students came up to me and demanded to know how I'd made their PCs run the MacOS. This trick is a nice and simple one, and the .BMP file fits nicely on my toolkit floppy, which I never leave home without. For added effect and realism, try renaming desktop files and adding menus to the menubar in order to pass along subtle (or not so subtle) messages to your victim. 

And of course, when caught, feign ignorance; thanks to the media, the PC user might actually believe it. Enjoy yourselves!

A Brief Note (I Hate This Part)

Due to various time-consuming occupations, I regret to announce that I am giving up my post as the Apple Wizards evangelist as of this month. Trying to gain entrance to a university and holding down a job is taking up so much of my free time that I don't feel that I am able to continue writing an acceptable column. Consequently, I'm taking an extended leave of absence, at least until more of my time is freed up. It has been a pleasure writing for Apple Wizards, and hope to one day return in some form or another. Later everyone. ;-)

Editor's (and Friend's) Addendum

I too am saddened to see Tyson go a separate way. I looked at Tyson not only as a colleague and writer, but as a friend. We often swapped "read this jerk!" URLs and picked apart each others' journalist flames. Tyson, you will be missed.

However, this means that Apple Wizards needs an evangelical writer. If you would like to apply, send a writing sample (and any other appropriate information) to editors@applewizards.net. Thank you, and thank you, Tyson.

            Tyson Green
            "The glass is empty and broken"
             tgreen@junction.net

   

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